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LJ CUT FAIL D=


Ugh, I fucking hate the LJ cut thing and its unnecessary difficulty *shakes fist* Ah well, here's the fic, like I promised...

Title: Monty Python and the Early Morning MSN Conversation
Pairing: well, nothing definite, but flirtations galore =P
Rating: PG-13, for once!
A/N: This actually has a similarity to something I read about Guns N' Roses on DeviantART...I can't remember who it's by, so I apologise...Oh, and feedback, comment, critique, etc, all get chocolate buttons, as usual! ^^
And I slipped in two Python "injoke" thingys, as well as a pun or two...see if you can spot them =P And if the boys seem to be a bit OOC, then feel free to bitch-slap me!

[LazyBones has been added to the conversation]

 

[Proud-To-Be-A-Poof has been added to the conversation]

 

LazyBones: gray?

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: it is indeed i.

 

LazyBones: at three in the morn?

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: i could ask you the same question………naughty videos? ;)

 

LazyBones: =O WTF NO

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: methinks the lady doth protest too strongly…nothing wrong with fair-weather homosexuality, eric ^_^

 

LazyBones: fuck off

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: charming. are you saying you wouldn’t take it if you were offered? *disappointment* =’[

 

LazyBones: fuck off fuck off. how old are you, using all those emoticons?

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: 30 in four months =D

 

LazyBones: you been drinking?

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: *is offended*

 

LazyBones: hold on, michael’s on, maybe he’ll have better chat than your boozy bollocks…

 

[*mrmikey* has been added to the conversation]

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: ello darl <3

 

*mrmikey*: morning, gray, eric ^.^

 

LazyBones: god, how old are you guys using  smileys on every line?? it’s embarrassing!

 

*mrmikey*: looks like a certain mr idle is up past his bedtime =P

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: i’d take a certain mr idle to bed if he wants me to *winkwinknudgenudgesaynomore* wouldn’t you, mikey love?

 

*mrmikey*: hells to the yes XD i would stare into those blue eyes of his, run my hands through that gorgeous golden hair, feel his tight little arse and thin, wiry body writhing beneath mine…

 

[LazyBones has left the conversation]

 

*mrmikey*: something i said? *sadface* =[

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: he just doesn’t know what to do with all that boy lovin…he’s probs gone to think naughty thoughts about us or something J

 

*mrmikey*: your arrogance knows no bounds, you great gay!

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: oh, behave, or else i may have to spank you tomorrow!

 

*mrmikey*: how are you anyway, aside from pissed out of your skull :P

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: i’m outraged, michael! just because i happen to be on the internet at this ungodly hour doesn’t mean i’ve been drinking!

 

*mrmikey*: ORLY?

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: YARLY

 

*mrmikey*: aha! I SPY JONESY

 

[MICHAEL_PALINS_BITCH has been added to the conversation]

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ROFL

 

*mrmikey*: terry wtf XD what happened to captain fantastic?

 

MICHAEL_PALINS_BITCH: he died D8

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: I WANT IN ON THESE SHENANIGANS

 

MICHAEL_PALINS_BITCH: im a one-man man only gray, sorry x

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: T^T I FEEL SO UNLOVED

 

*mrmikey*: wait when did I start going out with terry? How come I don’t remember this? =S

 

MICHAEL_PALINS_BITCH: WE SHALL BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND HAVE LOTS OF BABY CREATURE THINGS AND HAVE A LONG AND HAPPY RELATIONSHIP…you dont remember saying that mike XD

 

*mrmikey*: no O_o

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: whatever will eric say when he finds out you’ve cheated already??

 

MICHAEL_PALINS_BITCH: eric?

 

[LazyBones has been added to the conversation]

 

MICHAEL_PALINS_BITCH: ERIC WTF YOU’VE TAPPED MIKE BEFORE ME D=<

 

LazyBones: jonesy? whats going on…

 

*mrmikey*: TERRY I’M SORRY BUT I CANNOT RETURN YOUR AFFECTIONS BECAUSE ERIC IS THE ONLY ONE I CAN EVER LOVE…I LOVE ERIC!! *breaks down in a hysterical sobbing mess on the floor* IM SORRY FOR MY DECEPTIOOOOOOOON!!!!!

 

LazyBones: wtf is going on

 

MICHAEL_PALINS_BITCH: MICHAEL HOW COULD YOU…i thought we had something special…=[ TRAITOR

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: this is fun ^^

 

*mrmikey*: I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS…gentlemen prefer blondes anyway =]

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: ouch XD

 

MICHAEL_PALINS_BITCH: fine…I know where I’m not wanted…FUCK YIS ALL!!! *leaves in a whirl of tears and broken hearts*

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: ooooo, poetic =3

 

[MICHAEL_PALINS_BITCH has left the conversation]

 

LazyBones: can someone please explain whats going on???

 

*mrmikey*: well, it all started when jonesy said he was my bitch…

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: HEEEEEEEEEERE’S JOHNNY!!!

 

[JohnCheese has been added to the conversation]

 

JohnCheese: What’s everyone doing online so late?

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: having gay chat! I have converts! *victorydance*

 

JohnCheese: Oh dear…Graham, what are you on?

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I’VE BEEN DRINKING?!?!?!?

 

JohnCheese: The whole “alcoholic” thing is a dead giveaway, you know.

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: *gives john the middle finger*

 

LazyBones: graham you are quite clearly drunk…

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: and you aren’t?

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: ohno, you’re looking at naughty vids aren’t you?

 

LazyBones: NO

 

*mrmikey*: i am!

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: SRSLY??

 

*mrmikey*: YES

 

*mrmikey* YES I AM

 

JohnCheese: Are they homosexual ones?

 

*mrmikey*: no, they’re just of my beloved eric naked and getting himself off ;)

 

LazyBones: not funny mike!

 

*mrmikey*: no, not funny…hot =D

 

JohnCheese: …I feel like I’ve been scarred for life. >_<

 

LazyBones: you saying I’m unattractive cleese? *is hurt*

 

JohnCheese: Well, while you are undoubtedly one of the prettiest members of the Monty Python troupe, that’s not saying much, since we aren’t exactly the biggest sex symbols…

 

LazyBones: one of? whos the other one? Is it mikey? =]

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!!

 

*mrmikey*: wow, that’s the 2nd confession i’ve had tonight…i’m on a roll! *revels in sex symbol status*

 

LazyBones: jonesy will knife you if he finds out…don’t worry we won’t tell…*evilgrin*

 

JohnCheese: I don’t fancy Michael. He’s cute, yes, but I’m not like Graham…

 

*mrmikey*: CUTE??? WHAT. THE. FUCK???

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: You ARE quite cute, mikey, don’t deny it ;)

 

LazyBones: there’s only room for one sexy python in the crew…you’ll have to be the cute one, sorry dear x

 

*mrmikey*: what happened to you all being pissed off cause i found you sexy?? mr hypocrite idle!!

 

LazyBones: …STFU

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: ooooo catfight!!

 

JohnCheese: Ladies, have your bitchy little confrontations tomorrow, it’s far too late now…

 

Proud-To-Be-A-Poof: good idea! goodnight all! bedways is rightways!!

 

[Proud-To-Be-A-Poof has left the conversation]

 

[IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!! has entered the conversation]

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: sup yo

 

LazyBones: mikey, i’m the sexy member of the group! You’re the cute one, gray’s the gay one, jonesy’s the annoying one, gil’s the cool one, and john’s the scary one! it’s the way it rolls!

 

*mrmikey*: I DON’T WANNA BE THE CUTE ONE

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: whoa wtf is goin on here

 

JohnCheese: Use some proper grammar, Gilliam. Being American doesn’t entitle you to sloppy use of language, you know.

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!:and wow cheers eric im cool =D

 

LazyBones: anytime dear

 

*mrmikey*: i’m not finished yet!

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: lol calm down mikey you are the cute one of the group…you have dimples ffs!

 

JohnCheese: Ffs?

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: For Fucks Sake

 

JohnCheese: Oh, wonderful. What an illustrious turn this conversation had taken. Goodnight all.

 

[JohnCheese has left the conversation]

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: so how did this nice little chat start

 

*mrmikey*: I am not bloody cute! grown men aren’t supposed to be cute!

 

LazyBones: well, you are both a grown man and cute hehe so explain that if you can!

 

*mrmikey*: …why are you being so mean to me?

 

LazyBones: mean?? cute is not an insult! wtf are you on about?

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: chill mike most people would kill to be as cute as you ;)

 

*mrmikey*: *unimpressed*

 

LazyBones: i’m just glad graham isn’t here…

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: cause of all the overwhelming poofyness?

 

*mrmikey*: are you actually looking at naughty videos, eric?

 

LazyBones: depends…are you actually watching me getting myself off?

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: okay wtf wtf WTF HAVE I MISSED

 

*mrmikey*: answer the question eric!

 

LazyBones: no i’m not

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: i still dont know whats going on

 

*mrmikey*: is there even a video of you on the internet getting yourself off?

 

LazyBones: probably…pervy fangirls…*shakes head and sighs*

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: why are you so interested if mike’s watching you get yourself off

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: and are you?

 

LazyBones: i’ve had enough of this spanish inquisition! i’m going to bed see you guys in the morning

 

[LazyBones has left the conversation]

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: want to explain WHAT THE FUCK that was all about??

 

*mrmikey*: a joke that got too awkward without graham to out-gay us, that’s really all it was…

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: would you though?

 

*mrmikey*: =S what?

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: if there was a vid of eric getting himself off would you watch it?

 

*mrmikey*: for comedy’s sake?

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: you know what I mean

 

*mrmikey*: no!

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: i would =P eric’s one sexy boy!

 

*mrmikey*: i don’t swing that way!

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: sure you don’t…and my arse plays the banjo

 

*mrmikey*: you’re turning into gray! Thinking we’re all gay for each other!

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: well it deffo seems that way

 

*mrmikey*: what are you implying gil? that I fancy eric?

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: well do you

 

*mrmikey*: he is hot…

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: continue

 

*mrmikey*: this convo has got way too serious for my liking

 

IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!!: don’t evade the question

 

[*mrmikey* has left the conversation]

 

[IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111!!! has left the conversation]

 

[offline message sent to *mrmikey* from IM-A-FUCKING-AMERICAN!!!111 at 03:47: you’re only proving my point ya know]


I hope this works...

Yeah...Anyway, this is a songfic based on Green Day's "Restless Heart Syndrome", and I thought it summed up how Vyvyan would feel about Rick, but I think I wrote them a little bit out of character...What do you guys think?

Oh, and there's plenty of angst, and it was written at four am. You have been warned.

Title: None
Pairing: Rick/Vyy
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't own these boys, or else TYO would be a very different show...
Summary: Vyvyan's got a really bad disease.


 

I’ve got a really bad disease

It’s got me begging on my hands and knees

So take me to the emergency

Cause something seems to be missing

 

What was it?

Was he sick, or something?

 

Why was it, whenever Vyvyan looked over at the insufferable little poof, Rick, he felt something move in his stomach?

 

Why, when the asshole was doing something as menial as watching TV or reciting his godawful poetry, did he feel so hot and embarrassed?? He was a medical student, for fuck’s sake, what was wrong with him?

 

Somebody take the pain away

It’s like an ulcer bleeding in my brain

 

Whenever he smiled that awkward, goofy smile…Vyvyan felt he had enough happiness to share with the whole world, and when the self-proclaimed anarchist was down or depressed…he would feel his chest constrict, like his very heart would break in two.

 

There was a term for that, though…he’d heard it mentioned at one of the lectures when he’d actually turned up…Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, or Broken-Heart Syndrome. Was that what he was suffering from? That whenever Rick was sad…Vyvyan wanted nothing more than to ease his pain, if not for Rick’s sake then for his own.

 

So send me to the pharmacy

So I can lose my memory

 

But then, the Vyvyan everyone knew and feared/respected would not and could not ever be that sensitive or caring. Ever.

 

I’m elated, medicated

Lord knows I tried to find a way to run away

 

So he would revert to type, throwing bricks, plates, Neil’s head, anything else that came to hand, hitting, kicking, beating…as though by venting his internal turmoil on the undeserving sociology student would somehow force these…symptoms out.

 

I think they found another cure

For broken hearts and feeling insecure

 

It didn’t work, of course, and as well as the tangled mess of his feelings towards Rick, Vyvyan could then successfully add “crippling guilt” to the pile as well.

 

You’d be surprised what I endure

What makes you feel so self assured

 

Sometimes, he could get rid of the…feelings with a bottle or twenty of Babycham, and he could temporarily forget all those little mannerisms that drove him to distraction every hour of every day.

 

I need to find a place to hide

You never know what could be waiting outside

 

The way his eyes would widen and he would bite his lip when he was nervous…

 

The intense look of concentration on his face when he wrote something down with his left hand…The only left-hander in the house, making him unique…

 

The sigh, tut, and exaggerated hands-on-hips combination whenever something wasn’t going his way…

 

The accidents that you could find

It's like some kind of suicide

 

All of them, and hundreds more, Vyvyan had them memorised.

 

So what ails you is what impales you

I feel like I’ve been crucified to be satisfied

 

Then he’d knock back his bottle of Babycham, and Rick’s adorable face would disappear as Vyvyan slipped into a blissful, dark void where nobody could reach him, where he’d float in a state of almost suspended animation, in his own, private piece of forever…

 

But it only lasted for at least a few hours, until he found his way home at four am and Rick would be sitting up waiting for him, bright blue eyes glazed over with a mixture of sleep deprivation and betrayal, but tinged with relief that the punk had made it safely home…

 

I’m a victim of my symptom

I am my own worst enemy

 

Who was he kidding? Vyvyan knew Rick could never care for someone like him. Hell, who could? He’d never known his father, only a mother who didn’t give a fuck if he lived or died, no real friends who he’d ever truly needed, or who’d needed him…

 

You’re a victim of your symptom

You are your own worst enemy

Know your enemy

 

Finally, one night after the millions of times he’d staggered home at some ungodly hour and been greeted with that same, accusing stare from those achingly blue eyes, that understanding smashed Vyvyan in the face with startling clarity. The “symptoms”…he wasn’t sick at all.

 

It wasn’t an illness…it was love.

 

Vyvyan loved Rick.

 

He loved him with everything he had…and the realisation that he could never be loved in return, by Rick, by his mother, by anyone, was too much to take.

 

I’m elated, medicated

I am my own worst enemy

 

Tears dripping down his cheeks, Vyvyan pushed past Rick and attempted to flee upstairs before the anarchist could see his shameful display of weakness.

 

To no avail. In the blink of an eye, Rick seized his free hand and forced him to sit on the bottom stair, his thin arms snaking up round Vyvyan’s neck. “Sit.” he commanded quietly, his normally shaky voice full of quiet authority.

 

So what ails you, is what impales you

You are your own worst enemy

 

Thrashing and struggling against Rick’s hold, Vyvyan howled like a tortured animal. He didn’t want sympathy. He wanted love. He wanted Rick to hold him like this forever, not because he was being weak. This…pity he was being given was worse than any rejection, and Vyvyan could feel his pain burning white-hot and coursing through his veins like a deadly, toxic drug.

 

You’re a victim of the system

You are your own worst enemy

 

Trying desperately to break free, Vyvyan opened his mouth to let out another blood-curdling scream, and was silenced by Rick pressing his lips to his own in a gentle kiss, allowing the scream to die in his throat and his struggling to cease.

 

I’m a victim of the system

I am my own worst enemy

 

“Sssshhh.” Rick pressed a finger to Vyvyan’s lips when they pulled apart briefly. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. I’m here, Vyv, I’m not going anywhere. Just let it out, okay?”

 

“But…but…” Vyvyan raised his bloodshot eyes to meet Rick’s own, tired, tender gaze, seeing nothing but love and care reflected back. He swallowed his feelings which threatened to overwhelm him, and clutched desperately at Rick’s hand. “W-what…what about Mike and Neil?”

 

 

“I don’t care about them.” Rick rested his forehead against the star-shaped piercings on Vyvyan’s head. “I care about you.

 

I’m elated, medicated

I am my own worst enemy

 

It was all the reassurance Vyvyan needed to finally open the floodgates and unleash 22 years of pain and loneliness, his body shaking with wracking sobs as he wept for never knowing the love of a mother, the desolation of being alone, and the bitterness towards his non-existent father.

 

But he also wept tears of joy, for deep down, Vyvyan knew he’s never be alone again. He was loved. Everything really was going to be okay.

 

So what ails you is what impales you

You are your own worst enemy

 

 

 

Writer's Block: Multilingual

How many languages do you speak?
Well, two fluently - English and French - and two slightly flaky - Irish and German. I learned Irish when I lived in the country for about 4 years, and German was the other language we were taught aside from English and Irish...

Writer's Block: Comped

What's the best compliment you've ever received?
That I had "nice arms"...
I laughed for hours when I heard that one...

Writer's Block: Dream Job

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
Now really, if the words "Supreme Ruler of the Universe" didn't spring to mind when this came up, I really don't hold much hope for the ambition of the human race...=/

Optimism...at 1am >_


…So.

Question posed for the day: why are most of the people in this world so immature and mentally fucked-up?

Okay, perhaps fucked-up’s taking it too far, but really, why the hell are most people so insecure in themselves that they feel they need to bitch about people who are more successful than them to make their own selfish selves feel better?

I mean come on, everyone knows that the only thing that achieves is making the target feel like one of the most despicable people alive…

Well, maybe that’s the comfort of it.

Being horrible about someone who is seemingly “Better” than someone else and deliberately nit-picking and finding faults in their clothes and personality makes them seem almost as bad as you yourself feel…fuck, I don’t know, I wasn’t born a natural psychologist…

Why, though? Don’t they know that being horrible about somebody serves no purpose? That it only passes your own pain onto someone else, but is soon thrown back at you tenfold?

Do those sorts of people crave that counter-attack? They relish the feeling of being mentally hurt and stung? Does it satisfy their own, twisted, masochistic needs and makes them feel more human?

Even at my worst, I was never horrible to anyone else.

…Actually, no, I was horrible to some people, but only because they pretended they cared about me right up until the point where I needed them most, then they decided to conveniently fuck off and immerse themselves in each of their own little worlds, giving no thought or concern for my well-being.

And I still had the gullible nature to call those fake, lying whores my friends? To Hell with being too nice for your own good, I was too fucking stupid and needy for my own good.

But then, I didn’t want to see them for what they truly were.

Deep down, I did know, but I still needed them, because it felt like they were all I had.

In the end, I got through it by taking a good, long look at myself in the mirror and I realised that they weren’t vital for me to be happy.

The only person that can really make me happy is me.

Sounds cheesy, yes, I know, but honestly, it’s true.

It really is something that you only realise when you’ve been in that situation yourself and have pulled through.

The therapists and “understanding” people like to tell you that you need to like yourself, but if you can’t find anything good about yourself to like, how exactly are you meant to like yourself?

I know that it doesn’t take someone else telling you that you’re liked to make you happy, it takes you reaching an understanding yourself.

I got to that point eventually, and it gave me empathy. So the next time someone tells me that I “Don’t understand”, I can identify with that too.

Becoming a happier person is really something you have to do yourself.

It’s hard, but with a little bit of effort, it can happen.

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